A LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF

To the girl who always found a reason to smile, even when the world felt like it was falling apart. To the girl who danced her heart out to her favorite song while everybody else in the room watched. To the girl whose smile lit up the room and whose laughter reminded others of what home felt like.

I hope you never let the world lose sight of who you truly are. I hope you continue to carry yourself with grace, even in times where you are tested. I hope you find love in the deepest roots of your heart for those who need it the most. I hope you forgive those that once served a part of your life, for you have blessed them with the most unforgettable memories of all. I hope you know that you are beautiful when you are being your true self: nothing more, and nothing less.

I am writing this to you from a place where I learned to appreciate love amid pain. From a place where I learned to mend the wounds I acquired and undergo the healing I needed to make my spirit feel brighter. From a place where I faced circumstances that asked the most from me, and learned to use love and kindness in a world that desperately needs more of it.

I know you enjoy the comfort within your own little world, but a day will come where life asks you to step outside of this. Life will help you see and experience the things that you never would have imagined to exist beyond your own realm. You do not need to be afraid when this day comes. There will be times where discomfort arises, and you may feel that it is wrong. I am here to tell you that this is normal, and it is preparing you for a journey of self-discovery where you become a better version of the person you are today.

The first step outside your little world is when you become an elder sister. Your dream of having a best friend will come true. There will be things you will learn which will bring unexpected emotions to arise. The circumstances within this journey may make you feel as though it is your fault or wrongdoing. I want you to know that this is not true, and that circumstances are always unpredictable. It will be difficult, but I know that the birth of your brother will be the primary influence of your purpose and growth. He will be the reason why your heart is softer, and you are able to understand and be kinder to others better than one might expect.

This journey is lifelong. As intimidating as this sounds, I believe your heart is too big to ever choose to give up. I believe that you have the capability to change and grow beautifully from the adversity that challenges you. I believe that your experiences and story will help others become open to discussing things they had never thought of speaking aloud before. This journey will help guide you to a path where you discover what you are passionate about. You will thank your brother for having the opportunity to see the world in a different perspective.

As you continue your journey, you will meet people of different backgrounds and upbringings. You will meet people who share your interests and inspire you to become better. You will meet people who feel like home.

I want you to hold onto those that do not make you question their intentions twice, for as long as you can. I want you to love them with every ounce of your heart, because the bonds you create will only help propel you forward in ways that you never could have imagined. In times where you feel you want to escape the troubles of this world; these people will be there with their arms wide open. They will remind you that there is no need to run away, because their love will hold you safely and provide the comfort you were seeking. Their love will lift you in times where you feel you are falling, so you can rise again. Their love will help you learn to trust not only them, but yourself again, so that you can place faith in your abilities to conquer the obstacles that come along the journey.

Not every person will be able to stay in your life from the moment that they enter it. Most of them will say goodbye in times where you least expect it. When it is time for them to leave, it will hurt because it means you have to let them go. You may feel that if only you had done more that they would have stayed, but I want you to know that you did all that you could.

There is no escaping the waves of grief that accompany the loss we have when we say goodbye to a person leaving our life. Take the time to process the feelings that arise when these waves come. Spend time healing so that when these waves come again, you will be able to ride them.

I want you to express your appreciation for those who did get the chance to stay, even if it was only for a few chapters of your life. I want you to love them so much that you forgive them, even when they leave, so they can learn to give themselves the love that they need. I want you to know that you will be loved effortlessly once again, and this is not the end. The pieces of you will remain in all the people that you have ever loved: and that will never be something to ever regret.

It is difficult to keep a brave face in times of adversity. Although you uphold the reputation as the epitome of optimism and positivity, there is no shame in showing your vulnerability. It is okay to not always conceal your pain with a smile on your face. You are not disappointing anyone in doing so.

Each of us face difficulties that require us to take some time for ourselves. These times will ask a lot from you. You may not admire the person you are in these moments because you may say or do things that do not resonate with your true self at all. As painful as the circumstances can be, I hope you know that you do not have to go through the journey alone. In times of doubt, know that there is a helping hand not far away from where you are to provide support in these times.

When you give yourself time to heal and eventually rise again, you will be proud of yourself. You will be proud that you were able to face such adversity and be prepared for when the time comes again to evolve into a better version of yourself. Your resilience will not only help yourself, but will also inspire others to continue their paths. It will help others find hope to continue living.

When you enter your twenties, you will learn more about yourself than you ever did before. This is the time that you start doing the things you always loved to do. This is the time where you align with people that bring the best out of you. This is the time where you finally start to come back to yourself again.

You will be healing all the wounds from the previous years with the endless love that pours out of your heart. You will find joy in the little things in life, and realize that these bring you the utmost happiness. You will feel love burst from your heart while you laugh with your family and friends, as you create everlasting memories.

You will discover that writing will always be the most authentic way for you to translate your heart and soul into words. These words will have the power to touch others. A girl like you, with a beautiful mind as your father said, will realize that writing will always be the way for you to leave your mark on this world. The way you make people feel and how you choose to leave them better than how you first met them, will always be what makes you beautiful. You will come to realize that you were the person that you always needed.

I am proud of everything that you already are, and I am excited for you to become the woman that you always envisioned to become. I want you to appreciate all of the memories you create and the little joys in life more. I want you to hold onto your loved ones for as long as you can. I want you to appreciate what has come and gone, so that you can discover more. No person or moment ever remains the same; I see this as every year passes by. I do hope that you continue seeking the silver lining in times where all hope seems lost, because sweet girl, I see the world in your eyes—and you can leave your mark on a world that needs more love for it to stay alive.