FLY HIGH

The Eastern Tiger Swallowtail is known as one of the most common species of butterflies in the Eastern region of the United States. Despite this, I only seem to encounter this butterfly each time that I reminisce of my grandmother. Perhaps superstition is indebted to me, and I associate the existence of such a beautiful creature with her. I believe that its rare presence in my life serves as a gentle reminder that she is still with me.

Last year, I traveled to India with my family after nearly a decade. It had also been the first time that I had visited the country since my grandmother passed away. It was bittersweet, to say the least. I was brought to tears seeing many of my loved ones grow older and look different from how I remembered them as a child. In those moments, I realized how much time can simply pass by without a warning, especially living thousands of miles away on the other side of the world.

Not only did my loved ones grow older, but so did I. And it reminded me of the version of myself that my grandmother last knew, when I had just begun to grow up. It reminded me of all of the words that I wanted to say when I last saw her and held onto her hand. How I wish she could know the young woman that I am today, and most importantly, learn more about her as well.

Despite this continued longing, I still felt my grandmother’s presence throughout my travels. And in a way, I feel more connected to her now than I ever had been since she parted ways with this world. The stories that my parents tell me about my grandmother helps keep her memory alive in our family. And after all these years, I recognize the lasting impact she has left upon us. My grandmother is the woman who began and preserved the family legacy that still lives on today. 

Each time that I see the Eastern Tiger Swallowtail, it lands close to me. And miraculously, it is never in a hurry to leave my presence. In another life, I hope my grandmother gets to see all of the beauty that she has left behind. I hope she gets to lead a life that she has only ever known to feel free.